


When First We Practice To Deceive

by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)



Series: Jewelstuck [1]
Category: Black Jewels - Anne Bishop, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Best Friends, Character Study, Childhood Friends, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Female Friendship, Fluff and Angst, Foreshadowing, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Pesterlog, Plans For The Future, Pre-Sburb/Sgrub, Slice of Life, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Darkness does not mix well with paradox space, nor does Craft mesh smoothly with the game mechanics of Sburb.  Jade Harley makes plans to keep her friends safe despite the coming alteration of the natural laws they've relied on all their lives.  (A Homestuck/Black Jewels fusion AU.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	When First We Practice To Deceive

**Author's Note:**

> This is a _Homestuck/Black Jewels_ crossover fusion. Basically, I have shoved a bunch of Black Jewels world-building into the standard Homestuck setting. The beta and alpha kids are now Blood -- they have Jewels and castes and so on -- and this ability to touch the Darkness and use Craft interacts oddly with Sburb and paradox space. Dave and Dirk are Eyrien, because wings; Rose and Roxy are Dea al Mon, because dangerous women. (What, I need deeper reasons? *grin*)
> 
> Some further world-building notes are at the end of the story.

Jade wakes on her greenhouse floor, joints sore from her unplanned midday nap and mind awhirl with plans. Prospit's moon only enters its eclipse -- which can't be the correct astronomical term, no matter what the White Queen says -- every third day, more or less, but even when her tower on the golden moon faces outward into the empty dark, she can still explore and gossip and read the lore in the Queen's impossible library. (The dimensions of that building don't make any Euclidean sense. It offends Jade on some deep level, particularly since she has the nagging sense that she ought to be able to understand how the trick is managed but every attempt at the necessary math has snarled into futility.)

The Incipisphere may be mostly black and the depths of paradox space beyond the Furthest Ring even blacker, but it's a foreign lack of light, not the true Darkness from which the Blood draw their strength. She can barely feel the Abyss when she dreams, can't draw much more power than if she wore the Purple Dusk rather than the Red as her Birthright. (She thinks, anyway. It's hard to judge when she's never worn a lighter Jewel.) The White Queen says all the heroes will come into other powers, but Jade hasn't lasted twelve years on Hellmurder Island by trusting things to work out on their own.

The Darkness is hard to reach here too, sometimes. That's why she's learned everything she can about landen science and technology. Whatever it is about Sburb that makes Craft fail, it can't do a damn thing about gunpowder and bullets, not to mention nuclear reactors.

She just needs to make sure her friends are equally prepared to work against their instincts.

Jade calls in her laptop and flops down under a table to work. She boots the machine, sighs when it refuses to connect to the internet, and manually corrects the clock before the laptop can bluescreen in distress. Again. For some reason, electronics can't always measure the passage of time when they've been banished; it's the one thing landen sylladexes do better than Craft, though Jade isn't _quite_ enamored enough of technology to bother switching over. Craft is still more versatile and doesn't have those weird interface glitches.

She reboots and this time everything works properly. The projected keyboard and screen try to extend up through the table, but that's easy to fix; she just kills the 3D display and works with the physical machine. It's a little cramped, but she can see better down here in the shadows, away from the sunglare streaming in through the clear glass walls. Feet kicked lazily into the air, she opens Pesterchum and selects a familiar name.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

GG: hi dave!!! <3  
GG: are you home from school yet?   
TG: no im still trapped in the fetters of state mandated education even though its already dinnertime in houston  
TG: its modern slavery i tell you  
TG: i wont be free until midnight at the earliest  
TG: no duh of course im home  
TG: timezones learn them live them love them   
GG: well sorrrrrrrrrry!  
GG: how am i supposed to know how landen schools work when you wont ever talk to me about these things?  
GG: hmmmmm???  
GG: it is a mystery!   
TG: yeah whatevs  
TG: sup jade   
GG: sup yourself!   
TG: is this srs bzns or do you just wanna hang for a while   
GG: neither?  
GG: i just want to ask you some questions, for science!   
TG: what is even up with you and your science boner  
TG: crafts not good enough you gotta put your stamp on every field of human achievement  
TG: be all  
TG: oh you thought you were hot shit discovering interdimensional teleportation  
TG: welp guess what  
TG: jade harley was here first  
TG: suck it losers   
GG: thats me, you know it!  
GG: i am a complete modern renaissance woman :)   
TG: kind of a contradiction in terms there but who gives a fuck  
TG: come on hit me  
TG: for science   
GG: <3<3<3  
GG: soooooooooo......................  
GG: hypothetical situation!  
GG: what would you do if you found yourself in a place where you couldnt use craft  
GG: and a whole bunch of monsters were attacking?   
TG: k first of all define "couldnt use craft"  
TG: are we talking no jewels at all or just no schmancy purpose built spells  
TG: like can i still blast assholes and shit  
TG: second whats the layout of this place  
TG: city forest desert ocean single room etc  
TG: third what kind of monsters  
TG: fourth am i alone or do i have someone to defend  
TG: give me some specifics here i cant work with no details   
GG: um, you can KIND OF use power?  
GG: like, maybe four ranks down from your actual jewel?  
GG: so all your spells would need adjusting and the high power ones wouldnt work at all   
TG: aw man not this again  
TG: are you back on that kick about your stupid island being a blind spot in the webs and shit  
TG: i keep telling you and telling you bro wont let me ride the winds and visit  
TG: no matter how much you pull out the puppydog eyes  
TG: youd have to be like my promised queen or something to get around him  
TG: and i cant break his shields red trumps green you know this   
GG: for the last time, im not trying to make you visit me!!!  
GG: sheesh, males  
GG: none of you make any sense at all  
GG: not even john, but especially not you!   
TG: i resemble that accusation   
GG: yes, yes you do :p   
TG: but back to your completely hypothetical and in no way creepily relevant to my actual life science questions  
TG: im fuckin eyrien jade  
TG: there is no way on earth bro wouldve let me reach my first birthday without learning to use a sword  
TG: craft is irrelevant  
TG: i can defend you and rose no matter what happens  
TG: and egbert too since hes too dumb to realize what it means to be blood   
GG: we can defend ourselves just fine dave! you dont have to sacrifice yourself  
GG: but thank you for the thought <3   
TG: who said anything about sacrifice  
TG: id just take out anyone bothering you guys no sweat its all good   
GG: suuuuuuuuuuuuure you would ;)  
GG: but anyway, thank you for answering my questions!  
GG: im glad to know that when the apocalypse comes and we cant touch the darkness you will still be able to keep yourself safe  
GG: <3<3<3   
TG: wait what

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

Dave keeps sending her protests and questions, but Jade ignores him with the ease of long practice. Judging by Grandpa, all Blood males are prone to fussing, and judging by the internet (plus careful observation of Dave himself), Warlord Princes are the biggest worrywarts of all. Maybe if she were in actual danger, she'd let him protect her a bit, but this stream of electronic words is mostly for show. If Dave were _really_ upset, he'd use craft. Houston to Hellmurder Island is too far for regular psychic communication even on a Green thread -- and that's without taking the frog temple's interference into account -- but he can reach her just enough to send vicious static headaches if he's feeling particularly aggrieved.

The lack of pain is all the evidence Jade needs to prove that he'll be fine.

Besides, she has other friends to check up on. Jade swings her feet from side to side, kicking idly against the table legs as she considers. Hmm. Rose or John? Rose is further east and it's probably wise to catch her before she goes to bed, but then again, Rose _knows_ Jade isn't telling her the complete and unaltered truth about various things. It's hard to slip secrets past a Black Widow, even if the secrets come from outside the normal universe and are therefore invisible to tangled webs. It's a lot easier to talk to John, who brushes aside any slipups with blithe unconcern.

But no, it's unfair to avoid Rose. And Jade really does like her! She wishes she could tell Rose everything, earn her trust and cuddle safe inside her emotional shields, but it's not time yet. Until the world ends, Rose will keep on jabbing outward with passive-aggressive needles and thorns, and Jade will just have to cope.

She's pretty good at coping with things, if she does say so herself.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

GG: hi rose! <3  
GG: i hope im not interrupting dinner with your mom  
GG: i need to ask you a question  
GG: completely hypothetically  
GG: think of it as a fantasy scenario like in those stories you pretend not to write :)  
GG: (dont worry, i havent told john or dave and i never will! your secrets are safe with me)   
TT: Forgive me if I fail to take that assertion on faith.  
TT: Nevertheless, I'm sure your completely and utterly hypothetical scenario will be more interesting than the uplifting drivel that passes for award-winning children's literature.  
TT: Fire away.   
GG: thats a dangerous thing to say to a girl with a rifle!  
GG: mwahahahaha :)  
GG: but ok here goes  
GG: hypothetically, what would you do if you found yourself in a situation where you couldnt use craft  
GG: and a bunch of monsters were attacking?   
TT: A fascinating question.  
TT: I'm sure your reason for asking is completely harmless and in no way related to whatever you've done to obscure yourself from my webs.   
GG: i keep telling you, i havent done anything!  
GG: its just a side effect of where i live  
GG: :(   
TT: Of course it is.  
TT: Returning to your question, I need a few clarifications before I can give you an accurate answer.  
TT: First, are you simply inquiring about moontimes?  
TT: If not, has Craft failed entirely or have I simply mislaid my own ability to use it?  
TT: And finally, was I able to foresee the problem?   
GG: not moontimes, you can still use craft then even if it hurts like a bitch  
GG: as for the others, ummm...........  
GG: its more like the darkness is muffled, like somebody put a giant blanket between the abyss and the blood  
GG: and i dont know if you could foresee it  
GG: not the first time, but maybe after that?  
GG: thats actually a really good question!   
TT: Now we're dealing with multiple Craft-inhibiting monster attacks.  
TT: How nice.   
GG: hypothetical attacks!   
TT: Right.  
TT: In that case, I hypothesize that a pre-set confusion web will buy a moment or two of breathing space even at a dribble of its intended strength, and a foot of steel through an eye will ruin any monster's plans.  
TT: I may not have earned my master-work knives, but I'm still Dea al Mon.  
TT: I always have at least one blade to hand, and knitting needles double excellently as weapons in a pinch. :)   
GG: ewww   
TT: Says the girl who skin and butchers her own meals.   
GG: yeah but i dont stand right next to animals and get eye juices all over my hands, i kill them from a distance like sane people do  
GG: so there! :p   
TT: Mmm.  
TT: And what would you do, pray tell, if Craft should suddenly fail and you found yourself attacked from close range?  
TT: I believe most of your landen guns are rifles rather than pistols.   
GG: club them over the head, duh!  
GG: but thanks for worrying about me rose  
GG: and thanks for answering my questions!  
GG: <3<3<3

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

At first glance, Rose is trickier to read than Dave, but she's just as obvious once you know her tells. Jade knows perfectly well that Rose was trying to be mean with that last question, turning Jade's own question against her, but that just means she wants to keep their friendship going. These petty attacks are how she shows that she cares.

Rose and her mom are a little screwed up, in Jade's opinion. Psychology isn't her thing, but she's pretty sure normal people just say "I love you" instead of disguising it with opposites or going totally overboard with extravagant gestures -- but it seems to work for them, which is cool. The world would be awfully boring if everybody was exactly the same!

She'll have to ask the White Queen about tangled webs and how they interact with the alien power that shapes paradox space. Obviously they don't work across universes or Rose would already know everything about Sburb -- and so would every other Black Widow in the world, which would make things kind of unmanageable while everyone panicked about things they couldn't change! -- but what would happen if Rose tried to weave a web in the Medium? Logic says she couldn't use one to predict or affect events back on Earth (though theory, as always, must be tested experimentally to see if it holds up in practice), but aside from the power differential, there's no obvious reason they shouldn't work _within_ the game.

Hmm. That could be useful. Jade pushes a purple band around her left pinky as a reminder.

The sun has shifted just a bit, slanting under the table like a warm hand pressed on her legs. It would be so easy to curl up and take another little nap -- and it's really tempting, when she has such an interesting new question to research -- but no. She has one more friend to check up on, and frankly, he's the one she worries most about. John may wear a darker Jewel than either Rose or Dave, but he's only a Warlord. He doesn't have half the edges the other two were born with.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] \--

GG: hi john!!!  
GG: i hope you had a wonderful day doing whatever it is you do in school  
GG: you cant possibly spend all those hours learning or everyone would be in college by our age  
GG: the system seems very inefficient to me   
GT: hi jade!  
GT: school probably is inefficient if all you want to do is learn nuclear physics or esoteric craft.  
GT: but i am fairly sure it's meant to teach people how to get along with each other as well as teach us math and history and whatever.  
GT: not all of us are lucky enough to have our own private tropical islands.   
GG: hmm, is that why you go to a landen school???   
GT: it's not a "landen school," it's just a school.  
GT: i don't believe all that crap about the blood needing separate schools.  
GT: so landens can't read psychic scents and don't know what caste anyone is unless you tell them.  
GT: so what!  
GT: we're all people. we should be able to get along!  
GT: also my dad says if he has to pay property taxes to support the local school he might as well get his money's worth, haha.   
GG: i guess that makes sense  
GG: so what DID you do all day in your just-a-school?   
GT: i was very bored in math because we're only playing around with baby's first algebra. it is sooooooo stupid, but at least i'm not stuck in the lower math track.  
GT: they're still learning how to do long division with decimals. wow. so advanced.  
GT: not!   
GG: ugh, that sounds awful   
GT: oh well, at least the tests are easy.   
GG: still awful!  
GG: do you want me to send you my old calculus textbook?   
GT: thanks, but don't bother. i will survive. my other classes are more interesting.  
GT: in history we're studying the territory wars from when europeans came to america, and in science we're measuring average precipitation and stuff.  
GT: and in english we just finished reading "where the red fern grows," which is the saddest book ever.  
GT: a landen boy dreams of having a dog, and he adopts two kindred puppies.  
GT: they are very happy and become a family and spend lots of time in the forest hunting raccoons.   
GG: that doesn't sound sad at all!   
GT: then the dogs die.   
GG: oh no!!!  
GG: DDDDDD:   
GT: that's what everyone's faces looked like when we got to that chapter. D:   
GG: well, now i know never to read that book!  
GG: why do the dogs always die in famous stories?  
GG: what did the poor dogs ever do to the writers?  
GG: its not fair   
GT: yeah, we should rewrite all the sad dog stories so nicolas cage comes in at the last minute and saves them.  
GT: it would be awesome!   
GG: um, maybe...   
GT: but i don't think you pestered me to talk about my school.  
GT: you are being sneaky and tiptoeing around some big question or favor you want to ask.  
GT: you and rose are the same that way, but i'm wise to your tricks, hehehe. :)   
GG: curses, foiled again!  
GG: ok yes i have a question to ask  
GG: hypothetically, what would you do if you couldnt use craft and a bunch of monsters were attacking?   
GT: haha, wow, so basically you want me to pretend i'm a landen action hero.   
GG: yeah ok  
GG: pretend you are nicolas cage!  
GG: suddenly your whole house is transported to a strange place filled with monsters of various sizes  
GG: and you can only use basic craft about at the level of the summer-sky instead of the sapphire  
GG: what do you do?   
GT: if i'm nicolas cage, obviously i either have a handy gun or i improvise weapons from ordinary household objects. then i beat up the monsters, figure out what craft or alien technology zapped me here, and hunt down the evil mastermind behind the plot.  
GT: come on jade, this is obvious. ;)   
GG: sounds like a good movie!  
GG: but...........................  
GG: what if youre not nicolas cage?  
GG: what if youre just john egbert? (which is also awesome btw <3 )  
GG: what would YOU do?   
GT: bluh.  
GT: that's a good question!  
GT: i don't know if i'd make a good action hero.  
GT: i don't have a gun or a sword, i don't know martial arts, and i'm not an expert on ancient languages or craft or anything that would help me foil a villain's plan.  
GT: but i would do my best.  
GT: dave says jewels are the least important part of fighting. it's all about determination and improvisation and knowing how to use what you have.  
GT: the summer-sky isn't very strong, but i could use little pushes of craft to trip the monsters.  
GT: and then i could always try hitting them with hammers. i have one for hanging my posters and i think dad has a sledgehammer in the laundry room.  
GT: or i could prank them!  
GT: i bet monsters have no idea how to deal with pranks, hahaha.   
GG: they probably dont!  
GG: hmm, didnt you send me a movie like that one time?  
GG: with a landen kid who has to defend his home against two white-jeweled warlords until the territory queens guards track them down???   
GT: hahaha, yep. i am macaulay culkin; he is me. but not after he grew up and got creepy weird.   
GG: you are weird but not creepy, i promise :)   
GT: cool. :)  
GT: so what got you thinking about monsters and weird craft restrictions?  
GT: have you used your awesome nuclear physics powers for evil and found a way to punch holes into alternate universes, and now their alien inhabitants are seeking revenge?  
GT: are you a superhero and you're afraid your nemesis will come capture all your friends to use as leverage against you?  
GT: did you secretly start attending college online and this is a homework assignment for a philosophy or ethics class?   
GG: nope nope and sorry, nope!  
GG: im afraid my reasons will have to remain tip top secret mister egbert  
GG: i could tell you but then id have to kill you  
GG: ;)   
GT: hahaha, ok, miz harley, jade harley.  
GT: you are an international witch of mystery!   
GG: damn right  
GG: and now ill bid you a mysterious farewell and vanish like a sneaky internet ninja  
GG: oh, and you should totally practice hitting things with hammers  
GG: just because  
GG: <3<3<3

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] \--

Jade logs out of Pesterchum and tugs a blue band off her right index finger. One reminder done for the day. That makes... seven left, wow, she's not even sure she remembers what all of them are for. Maybe she should switch to a to-do list?

No, that's boring. This way is more colorful and also gives her a handy source of ammunition to zap Bec on his nose when they're both feeling playful.

She twists the band back and forth between her finger and thumb, pondering her options. Jade still isn't sure John will be all right when the game begins. She's pretty sure that Rose and Dave have figured out that something big is looming in their future, but John just laughs and lets all Jade's accidental inconsistencies roll off his back. He is pretty smart, though, even if he doesn't act like it most of the time, and he has a way of thinking around corners that will probably take the Dersite agents off guard. And he'll be the first one to enter the game, so the imps and ogres and other monsters will be at their weakest while he's still alone.

She wonders if John's dad is doing anything to prepare him, the way Dave's bro and Rose's mom are obviously doing for them. She wonders how much their guardians know about Sburb -- have they ever traveled to the Medium, like Grandpa did before he died? She wonders why the game chose them out of all the people in the world. They have a Black Widow and a Warlord Prince, but no Healer and no Queen. What will give them a center when their whole world is gone?

Something tickles at her mind, a faint thread of psychic communication.

*Yes?* Jade sends, distaff to spear.

*You live too far away,* John sends back, his mental voice faint but clear. *I always feel like I'm shouting down a giant well when I talk to you.*

Jade snickers and tells her computer to start shutting down. *Why would I live in a well? Water's no good for computers! Pretend you're shouting up toward a space station instead.*

*Houston, Houston, do you read?* John sends back with a sense of laughter wreathing the words.

*Obviously not! I'm not Dave.*

This time John's sending is a wordless sense-impression of rolling eyes and a raspberry.

Jade vanishes her computer and sends back a smug, wordless grin. She rolls out from under the table, into the warm afternoon sun. Mmm, _so comfy_. She could just curl up and sleep for hours.

*All right, you beat me once. But I'm still ahead like eleventy billion to ten in our prank war,* John sends. When Jade doesn't argue, he continues: *Do you mean it about the hammers?*

*You're Blood,* Jade sends. *We all have the capacity to rise to the killing edge. We're all predators, dragons under the skin. You should make sure you know how you might react if you reach that point. Train yourself so you won't lose control.*

John sends her a psychic sigh. *I like making people laugh. I don't ever want to hurt anyone. Aren't we supposed to be caretakers?*

*Sometimes you have to destroy one thing to protect another,* Jade tells him. *You should be ready.*

*I guess,* John sends. *But I don't like it.*

*That's why you're a good person,* Jade tells him. *Now shoo, I have experiments to check on.*

*You're secretly a supervillain, not a superhero, aren't you. You already have the private island with a volcano lair. When you send ransom notes to all the landen governments and all the Territory Queens, I will point and laugh and say I told you so,* John sends.

*You'd have to tell someone now for that to make any sense,* Jade points out. *Go bother Dave and Rose, silly, and let me plot the end of the world in peace.*

*Psssh, like we'd let you destroy the world,* John sends. *Later, Jade!*

The psychic connection breaks with a synaesthetic chime and the phantom texture of cobweb across Jade's mouth and eyes. She's pretty sure that's a side-effect of the way the frog temple warps the Winds and blurs her connection to the Darkness, but it's still disconcerting every time.

"I don't want to destroy the world, but it's going to happen no matter what," she tells her empty greenhouse. "All I can do is make sure we're ready to face what happens afterwards."

The afternoon sun is heavy and warm on her face. When Jade closes her eyes, it paints sunset colors across the back of her eyelids: brilliant bursts of Yellow and Tiger-eye and Rose. If she throws her arm over her face, the colors deepen to Purple Dusk and Opal, with flashes of Red and Black around the edges. She sinks into the warmth and the colors with an ease she's always struggled to reach when touching the Abyss.

Maybe after the game, she and Dave and Rose and John will find a place where she can wrap herself in the embrace of the Darkness the way she's always longed to do. Maybe after the game, they'll make the Offering and come into their own. Maybe after the game, she can finally stop running as fast as she can to keep everything on track toward inevitable destruction.

Maybe after the game, she'll be free.

The colors of twilight's dawn spiral down with Jade into dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> I have taken a few liberties with Black Jewels ideas in order to make them fit a more Earth-normal setting. First, landens drastically outnumber the Blood; the Blood are only about 1 percent of the world's population. There are about 5 billion people in the world (I think the Blood keep population increases down compared to our world), but only about 50 million of them are Blood. (For reference, the population of New York City is about 8 million.) Since landens and Blood often self-segregate, this means that an awful lot of landens do not directly know any Blood and are wary of what they don't understand. Technology and sheer weight of numbers have given landens effective political independence from the Blood; they have their own nations and governments and the Blood act more as an extra-legal brake on war and environmental degradation than as direct rulers.
> 
> Second, while I have kept some of the variety of human "races" in Bishop's work -- specifically the Eyriens and the Dea al Mon -- I have nixed the lifespan differences. All Blood live longer than landens -- a maximum of two centuries rather than one century, roughly speaking -- but that is the only difference. Nobody lives for thousands of years. Also, I've decided that the Eyriens and the Dea al Mon are genetic variants spread all over the world. They only occur among the Blood and are considered an extension of the mutations that allow people to touch the Darkness and use Craft at all. People with those traits have often formed closed communities, but the traits do pop up among the general Blood population from time to time, and not everyone born to Eyrien or Dea al Mon parents will display those traits.
> 
> Third, the Winds do not extend in a flat radial web from a single point. They roughly follow Earth's magnetic field, with cross-currents and random curls to allow for east-west travel as well. There are also Winds in space, blowing outward from the sun and bent to follow orbital paths, though this is not much use for interplanetary travel; the distances involved are too large.
> 
> There is no Shadow Realm and no Hell. There are demon-dead, but they are not allowed among living people and are generally shut up in reserves until they return to the Darkness; the hope is that denying them contact with anyone will hurry them along their way. There are Kindred, but they are quite rare -- if there are 50 million human Blood, there are maybe 10 to 20 thousand Kindred of any given species in the entire world, for a total of perhaps 1 million of all species combined, if that. (Also, the colonization of the Americas went a bit differently from our world, though that is not obvious in this fic. Many other bits of history are also somewhat different, but I am invoking narrative causality to explain the macro level similarities.)
> 
> Anyway, I still think this is one of the most ridiculous and stupid ideas I've ever had, but apparently it really wanted to be written. *shrug*


End file.
